Kamana Khadka
It was the
midnight of April 14, 2013, in Phoenix when both my fascination and curiosity started
to how versatile my Mum can get with the Internet. My Mum inherited my old
MacBook when she moved to the United States from Nepal to live with me some
four years back. My Mum is definitely
not tech savvy but she is a fast learner.
I was
finishing up Sheryl Sandberg’s book “Lean In” when I heard my Mum chanting
in her prayer room.
It was
midnight. Not her normal chanting
hours.
My Mum’s
prayer room is literally a step away from my bedroom. I slide open my bedroom door that connects to
the balcony and my Mum’s prayer room is on the left. In addition to being a fast learner, she also
is quite an innovator. She converted the
extra storage room in our balcony to a fairly comfortable prayer room. My Mum does her prayers twice every day –
early morning and early evening. I hear
her singing beautiful Hindu hymns, I smell the incense, and I see her offering
water and flower petals to the morning sun everyday. That night in particular was special because
April 15th would be a New Year 2070 in Nepal. Our midnight in the United States was already
New Year’s Day in Nepal.
I curiously
stepped out in the balcony to find out what my Mum was up to at midnight and
noticed she was streaming a live video from Ahmadabad, India where her Guru (teacher) Sri Asharam also known as Bapuji
was chanting mantras (Hindu
prayers or repeated chanting done for concentration in Sanskrit language) especially
for the New Year 2070. My Mum was
sitting in her prayer room with her legs crossed, eyes closed, and her fingers
were carefully moving the mala (108
set of beads used while repeating mantras
by Hindus), one bead at a time, as she was repeating the mantras after her Guru. Pretty neat stuff.
Since that
night I have been pretty fascinated with my Mum’s journey into the world of the
Internet.
Another fascinating
chapter of my Mum’s Internet journey is the use of Skype.
She uses my
Skype account of course!
Although
there are over 31 million Skype users around the world, for those who don’t
know what Skype is, it is a pretty cool app where you can make video call and
voice call to another registered Skype user.
You can open an account for free.
The video call and voice call is also free.
Majority of
our relatives from my Mum’s generation live in Nepal. Majority of our relatives from my generation
are spread all around the world – Spain, Germany, Australia, England, different
states in the United States and many other countries in the world. These days I almost never use my Skype
account.
Mum hacked
it. I connect with my cousins and
friends through other social media and phone apps.
I don’t
think my Mum realizes how loud she is when she is Skyping with her sisters back
in Nepal. Well her sisters, on the other
end, are competitively loud too. I can clearly hear all their communication
taking place in the living room from my bedroom. Even with the door shut.
Last week,
my Mum managed to shop for custom made gold jewelry from Nepal using
Skype. My cousins in Kathmandu, Nepal;
there were actually four of them (One of my Mum’s elder sisters, her husband,
and her eldest son who was visiting from Germany, along with one of my Mum’s
younger sisters); who hopped around some famous jewelry shops in an over-crowded
place in Kathmandu, showing my Mum different jewelries on display.
I think at
some point my Mum was also bargaining with the shopkeepers in Nepal.
It was
almost 1:30 in the morning here in Phoenix that is about 2:15 in the afternoon
in Nepal. They managed to buy the one
that my Mum liked, at the price she liked.
They sent the jewelry with one of my Pilot cousins who recently came to
the United States to do a short crash course.
Also, through
Skype my Mum has mobilized two groups of relatives – one in Nepal and one in
the United States who are determined to find a perfect match for me to get
married to. They are determined to get
me married in the next lagan
(auspicious month to get married in Hindu religion). Not only are they determined but also
impressively efficient. Don’t get me wrong;
the group was not as efficient as they are now.
There has been multiple times when my Mum’s group has brought several proposals
to me with detailed information about the man’s family what his parents do,
where they live, and all the possible information under the sun but whenever I
asked the basic questions that are relevant such as:
What is the guy’s full name?
What does he do for living?
What degree does he have?
The answers
I got were really interesting. I mean
really interesting.
“His last name is Thapa. Umm, I think the first name starts with an
A.”
“Degree? He studied in England. Very good looking man.”
Exchanging
e-mail addresses for instance was like moving Mount Everest from Nepal to the United States. I kid you not.
My Mum’s
group has also brought some super incompatible matches in the past. I rejected most in less than a day, a couple
of days, a week or maximum two weeks. But to my Mum’s credit, her mobilized
group has made some pretty impressive progress and proposed forth some good finds
in recent months. They have recruited a
few professional matchmakers to join the group.
I thought recruiting professional matchmakers was a pretty intelligent
move. I have had some lengthy and really
interesting conversations with some candidates in recent months. There have been few men I have talked to,
that are surprisingly a good fit. At
first I was not quite sure about the whole “arranged marriage” thing. So, intentionally, I posed some really tough
clauses to what type of man I was looking for, so that they would give
up. But the group has done some
commendable work I must say.
Arranged
marriage is like online dating. Arranged
marriage is like being a member of eHarmony.
Just my opinion of course.
I must say
that being open to the process of arranged marriage has stirred up a different
cultural learning in me. For some odd
reason, partaking in this whole arranged marriage thing is giving me a deeper
understanding to where my culture places marriage; the value of marriage, and
the whole reason of why we get married.
Well, my arranged
marriage is a whole different topic.
Perhaps future blogs.
Moral
People
accept change. They adapt to change. They make the change part of their everyday lives. But this change has to be introduced to them
in a way where it is not a threat to their existing lifestyles but an
addition. The change has to be introduced
in a way that is relevant to them. If we
apply the same principle of introducing change to our patients and clients
while we deliver health and social care; the future where our patients and
clients, willing maintain the suggested change, part of their lives, is not too
far.
Bottom Line - Make It relevant.
